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Lieutenant, Not Another Word!

First finish the sentence politely. Then finish it like the lieutenant. Try not to mix them up.

The joke

“Lieutenant, could you once avoid saying the first thing that comes into your head?”

“Certainly.”

“What would you say instead?”

“The second.”

How to play

Three acts. First choose the most natural ending and ignore the rude ones. Next suppress the obvious answer and choose the most outrageous ending, Lieutenant Rzhevsky style. In the final act, NORMAL or RZHEVSKY is chosen randomly before each sentence. Use keys 1–4 or the on-screen buttons. The first two sentences of each of the first two acts are practice; twenty-four sentences without repeats. Longer options get more reading time; confident, fast streaks raise the difficulty.

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